the thing about amazing youtube performance clips is that watching too many make a person (well, me) question their life's choices.

I have always told myself that I would be poorly suited to the hustle and grind of making a living, or even half of a living, as a musician, but when my brain is in full-on music mode I find myself thinking, "But if I were a gigging musician, sure I'd be starving but I could just practice and learn new music and write new music all day"

youtube.com/watch?v=Wkj7xIhDUp

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...the reality being that the gap between "practice your craft relentlessly, and also hustle for gigs and self-promotion endlessly" and "accomplished and successful enough as a musician to comfortably, idly spend all day screwing around on whatever musical idea, with no particular stakes" is vast and the opportunity to bridge it is a window that, at my age, is pretty well closed.

Which I'm mostly OK with. If jam sessions are ever a thing that feel safe again, I expect that about 85% of my "coulda been a contender" itch would be scratched if I can find a good one. I'm still sad about the jug band jam I found out about literally a week before lockdown started last year.

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